Thursday, February 23, 2006
Moore's Paradox in a relationship: the more you want, the less you get
In a relationship, the more you want, the less you get. Conversely it is also true that the more you give, the more you get.
Wise man holds her hands. Smart woman steals his heart
Friday, February 17, 2006
Mars and venus reading note
All 12 needs are important. But women and men have different primary needs before they can feel the other kind of love.
Women's primary needs:
=======================
-Caring: show interest in a woman's feelings, and heart-felt concern for her well-being
-Understanding: listen without judgment but with empathy and relatedness to a woman express her feelings. She feels heard and understood.
-Respect: responds to a women in a way that acknowleges and prioritizes her rights, wishes, and needs. Concrete and physical expressions of respect, like flowers and rembering anniversaries are essential.
-Devotion: gives priority to a woman's need and proudly commits himself to supporting and fulfilling her.
-Validation: does not object to or argue with a woman's feelings and wants but instead accepts and confirms their validity.
-Reassurance: repeatedly show all of the above.
Men's primary needs
=====================
trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, encouragement
Women's primary needs:
=======================
-Caring: show interest in a woman's feelings, and heart-felt concern for her well-being
-Understanding: listen without judgment but with empathy and relatedness to a woman express her feelings. She feels heard and understood.
-Respect: responds to a women in a way that acknowleges and prioritizes her rights, wishes, and needs. Concrete and physical expressions of respect, like flowers and rembering anniversaries are essential.
-Devotion: gives priority to a woman's need and proudly commits himself to supporting and fulfilling her.
-Validation: does not object to or argue with a woman's feelings and wants but instead accepts and confirms their validity.
-Reassurance: repeatedly show all of the above.
Men's primary needs
=====================
trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, encouragement
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
It's hard for an empty bag to stand up right
The fortune cookie reads that "It's hard for an empty bag to stand up right." Translate it to Chinese to see how yours compares to mine (in the comments):)
Avoid touching the restroom door at all cost
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Valentines day morning moon
Valentines day morning moon
Monday, February 13, 2006
Bird pictures
The first second when you got burned - every person should know
When you got burned for example by hot water, immediately rinse with running water for 10 mins, my teacher Dr Shide Qin said.
The severity of the burn is proportional to the temperature times the length of the exposure. When you are exposed to extreme heat, the left-over heat in that part of your body continues to cause damage even if you immediately withdrew away from the heat. Applying cooling water can minimize the damage or even save your life.
A friend of mine, also graduated from a medical school, said her teacher taught that, you need to jump in even if it is a shit pit when you got burned! Her teacher thus got an alias called "Zhang da4fen4keng1" ("shit pit Zhang") .
The severity of the burn is proportional to the temperature times the length of the exposure. When you are exposed to extreme heat, the left-over heat in that part of your body continues to cause damage even if you immediately withdrew away from the heat. Applying cooling water can minimize the damage or even save your life.
A friend of mine, also graduated from a medical school, said her teacher taught that, you need to jump in even if it is a shit pit when you got burned! Her teacher thus got an alias called "Zhang da4fen4keng1" ("shit pit Zhang") .
Sharing doubles your joy while cuts your grief in half
My beautiful friend Oceana told me her sister said, by sharing your pain, your pain will be cut in half. By sharing your happiness, your happiness will double. How wonderfully said!
Friday, February 10, 2006
insomnia, fear, relax and let sleep come to you
There are many ways to treat insomnia, such as have a regular schedule, regular exercise, avoid coffeince, progressive relaxation techniques, yoga, Tai Chi, meditation, etc... They are all very helpul. However, one thing I found very helpful and never seen anywhere is the fear factor and how to overcome it.
I think the most common factor that cause sleep disorder is psychological factor. That is we have trouble sleeping when we are afraid of not being able to fall asleep. Fear is caused by irrationalities. With reason, most fears can be removed.
step 1:
What is the worst result of staying up all night? Has this happened to you before? For how many times? Yes, productivity will be lower. But you should be just fine the next day. What about having two consecutive nights without sleep? That chance is pretty low and your body and mind will be so tired and you will be "day sleeping". The bottom line is that you have no chance of dying for lack of sleep!!!
step 2:
Dont try to sleep, just relax. You can not actively or voluntarily go to sleep yourself. You can only relax, create the condition so that your mind slows down and and sleep comes to you.
"Damn! I stayed in bed for 50 minutes and still awake! I am so frustrated and am afraid I have to stay up all night" At this time, you are becoming irrational. You may need to sit up or even stand up and walk a little bit. "If I cannot sleep, what can I do?" All you can do is to relax, maybe by imaging it is raining outside, or counting your breath (1 in, 1 out, 2 in , 2 out...), or whatever your favorites.
"I relaxed, and stil awake!" Too bad, you did your part. If you mind does not want to sleep, there is nothing else you can do. All you can do is continue what you can do: relax.
Remeber, this is just a tip. It cannot subsitute physical exercise, yoga, and all the other good stuffs.
I think the most common factor that cause sleep disorder is psychological factor. That is we have trouble sleeping when we are afraid of not being able to fall asleep. Fear is caused by irrationalities. With reason, most fears can be removed.
step 1:
What is the worst result of staying up all night? Has this happened to you before? For how many times? Yes, productivity will be lower. But you should be just fine the next day. What about having two consecutive nights without sleep? That chance is pretty low and your body and mind will be so tired and you will be "day sleeping". The bottom line is that you have no chance of dying for lack of sleep!!!
step 2:
Dont try to sleep, just relax. You can not actively or voluntarily go to sleep yourself. You can only relax, create the condition so that your mind slows down and and sleep comes to you.
"Damn! I stayed in bed for 50 minutes and still awake! I am so frustrated and am afraid I have to stay up all night" At this time, you are becoming irrational. You may need to sit up or even stand up and walk a little bit. "If I cannot sleep, what can I do?" All you can do is to relax, maybe by imaging it is raining outside, or counting your breath (1 in, 1 out, 2 in , 2 out...), or whatever your favorites.
"I relaxed, and stil awake!" Too bad, you did your part. If you mind does not want to sleep, there is nothing else you can do. All you can do is continue what you can do: relax.
Remeber, this is just a tip. It cannot subsitute physical exercise, yoga, and all the other good stuffs.
life, dream, and movie
Difference between man and computer is that man is made of organic molecule instead of silicon. Difference between life and dream is that life experience lasts longer. Difference between life and movie is that in life you are the star.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Sunday, February 05, 2006
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